Virtual Zen

It's Not Dabbling - It's Reinventing!

Earlier this week I was at a wonderful Women's Referral Network (WRN) luncheon. The keynote speaker was Lynn Doyle, host and Executive Producer of "It's Your Call with Lynn Doyle". As she shared highlights from her career she mentioned that she, like most women, has had to reinvent herself over the years as circumstances changed.

It was then that I realized, maybe I'm being too hard on myself about my dabbling. As circumstances for me change (even if it's just becoming bored with a subject), I evolve, I re-evaluate, I reinvent. Because of this, I continue to grow and hopefully improve on myself and my life. Being a "re-inventor" sounds so much better than a "dabbler" don't ya think?!

Confessions of a Complusive Dabbler

My name is Cheryl and I'm a compulsive dabbler. There, I said it. Recently when discussing one of my businesses my husband said, "if you're just going to dabble, it's not worth it". I of course bristled, became defensive, and told him that I have a plan, a bigger picture, and that he'd have to trust me. But then I started to think about it and realized he's right, I am a dabbler. And not just with my businesses, but with my life in general.  My girlfriend Randy has always said this about me too: that I'm always changing gears to try out something new.

Today while taking a walk, I started to review in mind all the areas I dabble. I decided to share the highlights in case there are other dabblers out there who can relate.

Some Areas I dabble:

1. Hair color - have been every color under the rainbow (except I think green).
2. Eating healthy 
3. Cooking healthy - or just cooking for that matter.
4. Exercise - scheduled 3 sessions at the gym this week but only made it to 1.
5. Blogging - as evident by the long gaps between blog posts.
6. Social Networking
7. Dog training - my dogs are a mess!
8. Parenting - my kids are a mess (well, not entirely).
9. Housework - I have definitely lowered my standards over the years!
10. Yard work - my weeds are very happy about this one.
11. Writing - my terrific book idea still isn't done because I keep dabbling in other areas.
12. Home-based business. Started 3 in as many years!
13. Publishing - I'm an awesome, author-focused publisher, but haven't put the time in to creating a model for my business that is both profitable and sustainable.
14. Direct Sales - Loving my jewelry business; it's pushed in ways I never thought possible! Still, though I know what needs to be done to move it from the dabbling phase in to the established business phase, I can't seem to push myself hard enough to make it happen.

The problem seems to be that I'm always encountering something new to learn about and I love that. But constantly shifting gears and trying out new paths, results in an ongoing unfocused state and feelings of being incomplete and unsatisfied. Don't get me wrong, dabbling has it's good points too. Much of what I am passionate about doing now I never would have discovered without my need to dabble. But why can't I seem to move beyond dabbling? I know I'm capable so I'm not sure what's stopping me.

Any other compuslive dabblers out there who have overcome this problem? I'd love to hear what you did to stop treading water in certain areas of your life (big or small). Is there a support group for people like us: Dabblers Anonymous?

The 10 Worst Winter Olympic PR Scandals

I thought this was interesting! Some things never change :-)

How to Slay the Stress Monster

Good article about stress management from Ali Magazine.
Enjoy!

How to Slay the Stress Monster .

So the 31 Days of Self Care Didn't Work out so Well :(

I admit it - I didn't quite meet my objectives of 31 days of Self Care back in January. Actually I made a lot of progress in the area of thinking about ways to take better care of myself and acting on many of them. I just think that committing to blog each day for 31 days was my biggest obstacle. Too big of a leap!

And now here we, almost through February! In my own defense, February has been a blur through all the monster snow storms (record snow fall in recorded history in the Philadelphia area this year!). Productivity (and sanity) definitely took a hit.

Still, I may not have taken many steps forward but I also haven't slipped back. Now I can feel the forward-momentum building and pushing me towards bigger and better things, both personally and professionally. After a hard look at myself, I have decided to run by life with my authentic self in the driver's seat. Lots of reflection, motivational reading, and soul-searching over the past few weeks (one of the benefits of back-to-back snow days).

The latest book in my never-ending search for healthful living is Jillian Michaels' new book, Master Your Metabolism. In it she really captured how I have been feeling these days in one short line:

"A bad day for the ego is a great day for the soul."

Stay tuned!

31 Days of Self Care: Day 20 (taking the short cut to happy)

I'm feeling a little less defeated today. I think the daily motivational quote I received this morning from Abraham helped:

"Everything that I think that I need to do is all only in order to propel me to some place that when I get there, I think I will be happier. So, everything that I am doing, no matter what it is, all of my lists of rights and wrongs... are all about me getting to a manifestation that I believe I will then be happier... So, why don't I take a short cut and just go get happy?"

It seems I keep telling myself "if I can just make it through this next week, month, event, task, whatever, everything will calm down and I'll feel better". Truth is, there is always something new to tackle and this approach is only making me wish away time. Since my time here on Earth is so limited, this just doesn't make any sense!

My self care for today is to try and embrace the day for what it is, and get happy now (not later)!

31 Days of Self Care: Days 14-19 (struggling)

Why is "Extreme Self Care" so extremely difficult for me? I know amazing women who effortlessly put themselves at the top of their lists and truly take good care of themselves. They seem so successful, happy and well balanced. They have time to exercise. They have time to play with their kids. They have time go out and have fun. For some reason I really struggle with this. I know in theory what needs to be done; I just can't seem to get there.

Over the past few days I have made the effort; enjoyed some retail therapy, some quality cooking sessions, and have been consciously trying to "find" ways to take care of myself. Still, those things I did do, came after I made sure everyone else was taken care of. This is the paradigm that needs shifting.

I had planned to participate in the Book Salon on Monday evenings but have already missed the first two calls. Why? Monday evenings from 5:00-6:30 is prime family time and not working with my kids during that time leaves me feeling stressed out about trying to fit everything else in for the rest of the evening. I know it's silly - it's just 90 minutes to spend on my self care - should be a no brainer. I guess I'm just not ready to embrace this new type of thinking.

I haven't given up, I'll continue to work through these 31 days and continue to read Take Time For Your Life. Maybe it will click.Wish me luck!

31 Days of Self Care: Day 13 (the nap)

Worked hard.

Hit a wall.

Took a nap.

Nuff said.

Well maybe. I should add that my Mom is envious that I take after my Dad in that I can just close my eyes, doze for 20 minutes or so, and then wake up and move forward with my day. I'm grateful. I love my naps and today I needed one - so I indulged :)

31 Days of Self Care: Days 9-12 (catching up)

Although I have made my best effort for some self care each day, I just haven't been at my computer that much in the last few days to write about it (which may not be such a bad thing). Today is my catch-up day.

Day 9: Reducing Clutter

During the holiday break I decided to relocate my home office to a different room in the house to get more storage, have better use of my space, and more privacy. Turns out this was a huge task compounded by the set up and break down of the holidays. As a result, boxes of files and items to go into storage lined my hallway and sat stacked in my guest room for several days. I don't know about you, but when my space is cluttered and disorganized, so are my thoughts and my ability to focus. Finally on Day 9, I took the time to remove the clutter and clear the space. Organized space = organized mind. Ahhhhh.

Day 10: Had a Dose of Dr. Wayne Dyer

On Sunday morning, my husband stumbled upon a PBS fundraiser featuring a program by Dr. Wayne Dyer called "Excuses Begone!" After just a few minutes I was hooked so I stayed in my jammies, sipped on some coffee and listened closely to what he had to say. Truly inspirational! I plan to pick up his book; if you're interested in checking it out, here is a link.

Day 11: Attended a Funeral

Attending a funeral may not seem an element of self care, but I'm including it because it really did make me feel better. Weird, I know. A member of my husband's family passed away; he had been sick for quite a while. My first inclination was to suggest that Louis go to the funeral by himself and I stay home to juggle the kids' schedules. Instead, we decided to all go as a family. You see, even though the funeral wasn't for someone of my family, for the past 20 years, my husband's family has been mine too and I care for them.  Seeing everyone, catching up, saying goodbye, and having a good cry was actually quite therapeutic. I was exhausted when I got home, but pleased that I had gone.

Day 12: Networking and Training

Since my Monday had been completely occupied by the funeral and gatherings, I found myself feeling a little frantic this morning about the loss of a day. I debated skipping my monthly women's networking luncheon even though I had pre-paid for it. Knowing that I also had a jewelry training meeting this evening (have I mentioned that my other business is selling jewelry?), it seemed that another day would be gone without accomplishing ANYTHING. There I go again, that need to be productive.

But then I realized that networking, meeting new people, and learning new skills, ARE productive things. So I dolled myself up, put on my fabulous jewelry, and made the effort to make new connections. I did, and it felt great.  Sometimes I feel disconnected working from home in a virtual world. Connecting with "real" people just plain feels good at times!

So there, I'm all caught up. Hopefully I'll stay that way ;-)

31 Days of Self Care: Day 8 (lunch with Mom)

On day 8, I shared a leisurely lunch with my Mom. Recently she had pointed out that in the year that she had lived in the neighboring town, she and I had only carved out two dates for some "girl time". That won't do! Se we sat down, enjoined some delicious soup at Panera Bread, and just chatted for around two hours. Re-connecting with Mom feeds the soul!

Mostly we talked about her new book. Yes, she just completed her first manuscript (at age 71)! It's an amazing novel of historical fiction  called "The Spruce Gum Box". She handed off the completed manuscript to me on Thursday so we can begin the editing and review process. I plan to publish it through Alexemi later this year.

Stay tuned for more details as they unfold - until then, feel free to check out my Mom's blog, Liz Logic. Congratulations Mom, on your monumental accomplishment!